Spoiler alert: We broke up

Call it desertion if you like, or maybe just “checking out” of the relationship. I have officially broken up with my fitness pal. It’s over.

I wish I could say I feel bad.

Fact is, I feel great!

Actually, I have abandoned fitness altogether. Traded it in for sanity.

I decided that instituting a diet/fitness regime the day my husband left the country for two weeks was nuts.

Or was going to make me nuts.

And that drinking Coke and eating cookies with the kids made me happy. Which was an emotion I felt was in short supply.

For those engineers out there, it goes like this:

Exercise + No food + taking care of small children without a break = Crazy mom (not a good thing)

Whereas

No exercise + Coke + chocolate + taking of small children without a break =  Mom who is yelling less and actually finding moments of utter enjoyment (and I am not just referring to the Coke and chocolate)

So the logical decision was to give up dieting and exercise and start enjoying life.

At least that’s what I told myself.

Which brings me to a random thought.

Have you heard the saying “knowledge is power”? I don’t think it’s always true.

Example) I read What to Expect When You’re Expecting about 1,000 times when I was expecting my first child. I had certain sections memorized.

But did it help me give birth?

I remember screaming at my husband, “I don’t think I can do this!”

As the words were leaving my mouth, it was as if Heidi Murkoff were in the room reading from the labor chapter, “Emotionally, you may feel vulnerable and overwhelmed, as though you’re reaching the end of your rope…”

Inside a dialog ensued:  “I must be in transition… I must be in transition… Who cares? I just can’t take it anymore!

But back to dieting. I’ve watched Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition” more times than I’d care to admit.

And it’s so predictable.

Fitness trainer Chris Powell lives with an obese individual. They fight but finally Powell wins the individual’s trust. The individual makes major lifestyle changes and begins losing tons of weight.

Then Powell has to move out but he gives the individual specific instructions to continue exercising and eating right.

The individual starts with good intentions but slips back into old habits and then stops contacting the trainer.

Powell attempts to get in touch but the individual won’t answer phone calls or emails and basically hides for awhile.

The second weigh-in reflects the lack of discipline and Powell shows his disappointment and lectures the individual to get it right before the third weigh in.

So predictable.

Every show. Practically every contestant.

And it’s pretty much the same for me.

When I decided to give up on exercise and eating right a few days ago, I felt like I didn’t want to talk to anyone about it. And if I had a trainer, I probably wouldn’t have taken her calls.

I thought, “I’m just like those contestants on that show … ”

And then I took another sip of Coke.

Seriously though, I will try again. My husband will be home soon and then it will be a better time to try.

Something like,

Exercise + some food + taking of small children with some breaks = Mom who can remind herself to be happy because she is getting healthier

Keep you posted.

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