My fitness pal? More like my fitness nemesis

Day 1 on my new weight loss plan. Horrible.

I started by weighing myself. That was a mistake.

Let’s just say I’m not what I put on my driver’s license a couple weeks ago.

Then I found myself arguing with my fitness pal app. Threatening divorce on the very first day of our (new) relationship.

Me: A tortilla is 200 calories? You have got to be kidding me!

Fitness app: No response

Me: I think I’m just going to have to quit. I don’t need this kind of pressure to lose weight.

Fitness app: No response

Husband: (after looking at the tortilla package) 210 calories, actually.

But my hatred of my fitness pal waned slightly when I found a new enemy: Jillian Michaels on workout one of the Shred.

The trouble is I’m no longer wide-eyed and blissfully unaware of just how tough it is going to get.

I’ve done it all before. Several times, in fact.

And while I wish I retained the benefit of my hard work, I must have suffered amnesia.

I’ll blame it on all of those beautiful cakes and cookies and bowls of ice cream. Like the memory zapper on Men in Black, all thought of healthy eating was vaporized as I savored bite after bite after beautiful bite.

Until today, when it all came rushing back.

Sucking air and wanting to quit. Feeling like I needed to throw up after 30 minutes of what my fitness pal calls “circuit training.”

The trade off? My app says I burned 266 calories and that means I can eat dinner.


My husband and I decided if we lost 5 pounds in our first month, we would celebrate by going to a movie together.

All I’m saying is that in the midst of torture by knee bends, I decided I didn’t care about movies anymore.

Time to up the ante. Let’s see. Vacation in the Bahamas might do the trick.

2 thoughts on “My fitness pal? More like my fitness nemesis

  1. Love your posts! You keep me entertained as Marty does with his fb posts. If you haven’t kept up with his posts, take a look. Some are pretty funny about teaching.

  2. Your post reminded me of a song titled “My Nemesis” from a show my boys like to watch in which the kids (in the show) have a pet platypus who is, unbeknownst to them, a secret agent who stops an inept criminal from “evil” plots to rid the word of things that irritate him: Check out the clip – perhaps it will become your inspirational song when you are dealing with “My Fitness Pal”:

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