A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, I fit into my Ann Taylor size 4 suit.
OK not really. It was just a decade ago, before I carried and delivered three sons.
Some kind of delusion kept me from throwing it away and instead putting it in one of the six bags that settled with me on the other side of the world. Perhaps I would need it, perhaps I would fit into it again.
Not so much.
Today I took it out and attempted to quickly put it on before rushing out the door to a very important meeting.
It really is a lovely suit.
But it didn’t look lovely as I attempted to pull it up over my post-birthing waist, and my face scrunched up as I wrangled with the zipper didn’t help.
I put on a nice looking blue turtleneck and black pants instead (size will remain anonymous).
This represents something I am constantly wrestling with. No, I don’t mean the zipper.
I live in a country almost on the other side of the world from my country of citizenship. Many material items are not as ready available here (or are twice the price), and so I find myself clinging to stuff a little more tightly than I think I normally would.
Often the stuff I collect is more about what was than what is right now.
I want to save that last seasoning packet to make sure I don’t completely run out and I don’t want to buy any clothes here because I could be getting something for so much less there.
The fact of the matter, though, is that the seasoning packets have been sitting there so long that they are starting to clump up and will soon be of no use.
And I did find some reasonably-priced shirts here that thank God I bought, because the size 4 suit no longer fits (almost can’t believe it ever did).
While I am holding on to the past and worrying about the future, my kids are entirely present.
My oldest was so happy to try on winter clothes today he wanted to wear his snow gloves to bed.
In the words of Jesus, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?”
In the meantime, anyone need an Ann Taylor suit?