Often I wake up and have a feeling of dread. About the day. About the work ahead. About a list of things, many of which I’m not sure I want to do. Or I just downright don’t want to do.
Today wasn’t all that different.
I had to get up for an 8 am class at the university. Last week I turned in my notice at the university, and will no longer be working there as of Nov. 1. That makes me a lame duck teacher.
Being a lame duck gives you a fair amount of freedom but the fact is I just didn’t feel like teaching today.
But I got up and tried the make the best of it. After a couple classes things hadn’t improved too much. I was going through the motions, and sort of feeling like a failure at the same time.
Then I had a thought, “Why don’t I ask the Lord for someone I can help?” It’s kind of weird to think of helping someone else when you’re down in the dumps, but I figured it was worth a go.
Pretty soon a student came up and asked why I was so down. I told her I’m leaving the university so I can spend more time with my kids. She looked genuinely sad and then asked if we would have English Club tomorrow. This meant a lot to me because English Club was one thing I had been feeling earlier was a total failure.
Encouraged I headed up for the staff room. But as I approached the door I found myself saying (to myself), “Ah! The staff room prison…” as I opened the door. Where did those winds of encouragement go?
In a matter of minutes a colleague of mine came over who wanted to talk — really talk. I found myself encouraging her not to settle for just any guy to marry, since she feels like she is getting older, but to wait for the right man. I told her about how God works in my marriage when I have conflicts with my husband, how I pray and why my relationship with Jesus is important to me. She told me she doesn’t really pray but that she is going to start trying. I told her that I believe everyone can have a relationship with God.
She asked if we could keep in touch after I leave.
God had answered my prayer two-fold.
I realized that as I prepared for my next class (grammar lesson and all) I wasn’t dreading it like before. In fact, I wasn’t dreading anything anymore. God had lifted off the depression.
Jesus said “It is more blessed to give than receive” but in this case, I gave and I also received.